Posted by: maisiegrace | October 19, 2008

Thanet manners

I’ve been trying to put my finger on why so many of the people of Thanet behave the way they do. Why is it so rare to be let into line of traffic here? Why are people so determined to get ahead of you in a queue? Why do people think it’s OK to break promises? Why is too much to expect someone to tell you/apologise when they are going to let you down? Why is it OK to pollute other people’s environment with music/litter/behaviour/dog shit? Why is it normal to blatantly rip each other off? Why is it OK to slag people off in blogs when you don’t understand what you’re talking about?

I’m sure these behaviours must have been learned over time and the guilty wouldn’t even know that it isn’t normal. I’m not religious, I’m not a snob, I don’t believe in respecting your elders automatically, and I’m not an old-school git, but I think it comes down to a concept which I haven’t thought about for many years. Something which I never understood the point of when I was growing up. Manners. Manners are not just about saying silly pleases and thank yous when you don’t mean it. As an adult I now realise how important manners are. I only noticed when I moved to Thanet and discovered they didn’t exist here.  

How do manners disappear from an entire area? Is it symptomatic of selfishness or lack of respect for each other? I don’t blame poverty/deprivation – there are plenty of examples of places where people would give you the shirt off their backs. What is it about Thanet that made people so rude?

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Responses

  1. I always said it was something in the water!!

    Seriously, it’s a shame that there aren’t more decent manners around.

  2. I’m curious where you’re from…but, as someone who rarely ventures outside East Kent, I’ve noticed that people are generally more friendly & polite in smaller towns & villages. This is one reason I prefer to do my weekly shopping in Birchington, despite living in Westbrook (near Margate). It also depends on the class & upbringing in the areas of course, so somewhere like Wingham is far more friendly than a Chavvy place like Sturry.

  3. Some of the rudest people I have met are local councillors – perhaps they set the benchmark

  4. Maybe its just the company you keep or the areas you frequent. Having travelled extensively, manners are no worse in Thanet than other areas I have visited/lived.

  5. Maisie, I’m surprised to hear you so negative about Margate. I had always found that you tried hard to see the good in the place and people, even when it’s hard to keep it up.

    It is trying at times. But then so are many other places where there is a high level of deprivation. Not lost hope yet though.

  6. Speaking as a DFL, I find people much friendlier and better mannered round here than in London. Perhaps Thanetians generally dislike being condescended to?

  7. I can’t say I’ve noticed they are any worse here. I spent the first 25 years of my life in Thanet and up to 4 years a go lived in south west London and Surrey, then Sussex before returning. Most young people I meet are well mannered. I think there is a lot more self-centredness about these days, too many people don’t know the meaning of the word ‘sacrifice’.

  8. A much older person than myself and I were once discussion something else and we were wondering why all the people from the group were apparently independently doing the same thing. She said “it just goes to show ‘as the shepherd so the sheep'” she went on to explain that often times people behave in a way that is similar to the attitude or ambitions of those they have “to look up to” as leaders… Now at the time I thought this was quaint but the more I see of the world the more sense it seems to make.

  9. Sorry MA. Beautiful place but unfortunately not always beautiful people 😦

  10. Maisie,

    The trouble is Loads of people in Thanet are great, a few are not. Those few get noticed more. I travel frequently to Manchester and Birmingham, and can say that my perception of these places is enhanced by the attitude of the local people. I wish and hope the same is true of Thanet. (BTW I would recomend the prices in the pubs in Manchester)

  11. Hi Maisie,

    great blogsite and love your upbeat views on margate in general. It can seem at times that the people of Thanet can be very rude with very few taking the time to be considerate of other peoples views or feelings. The manners of the teenagers around today are sometimes quite unbelievable, look at them the wrong way and you get punched. i have to say that its not always the youngsters that are rude and badly mannered, alot of the older generation seem to think that its their right to be a pain in the a@~e too.

  12. Talking of rude (or possibly anyway) – is this you too?

    http://iccasell.friendlinkup.com/

    Only the content is exactly the same.

  13. No idea what/who this is. Someone has nicked my blog! Confused. Any ideas anyone?


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